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What To Do To Stop Fighting

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As parents we can’t always control what our children do. The only thing we can control is our reaction to it.

I was busy working in the kitchen when I heard some bad language coming from my boys. So I decided to go and investigate. The three boys were all in a heap on top of each other in the lounge and they were having a scrap about something. For those of you who don’t have boys, you will never understand. This is a “boy” thing.

One of them was choking another boy so I helped them apart. I tried to figure out how I would deal with this fighting.I sent the boys to their bedrooms and tried to make sense of what had happened.

And do you know what? My boys gave me three different versions. Hmmm…

It was really bad timing for the boys as they had just organized for a friend to sleep over because it was school holidays. I told the boys that they would have to ring back their friend and cancel the sleepover on account of their violent episode. Then I went out for an hour, leaving them at home.

I hoped that my kids would take the opportunity to do something to earn back their sleepovers. I just gave them the opportunity to surprise me and give me just cause to reinstate their privilege that had just been taken from them.

When I arrived home with my groceries I had a pleasant surprise. One of my kids was washing up the dishes, another was cleaning in the bathroom. The third boy was busy in the lounge tidying up. YES! My plan had worked.

Now you need to understand that I did have every right to cancel the sleepovers. But I was hoping that the boys would put in some effort to show me that they were sorry for their behavior. And that they did. I was thrilled with their efforts so decided that their sleepovers could go ahead as planned. I am always looking for opportunities to extend grace to my children and I definitely extended grace to them this day when they didn’t deserve it.

My kids apologized to each other and away they went. But you can be sure that if there is another occurence these holidays the penalty will be severe.

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