Custody tips for dad
This is my first of many {I hope} custody tips for dads.
I have full custody of my 4 year old son and she is supposed to pay me child support.
It took me a year and a half and a lot of money [approx. 20 grand].
It was the worst period of my life.
I felt completely and utterly alone and a lot of the time I wondered if it was even worth it.
It was…but I never want to go through anything like that again…it’s hard and it hurt…a lot.
There was many , many times when I would of agreed to almost anything just so it would have been over with .Split custody,joint custody,even every week-end,anything.Things didn’t work out that way for one reason or another so it dragged on.During this time I learned a lot about the system and how it is supposed to be equal for both sexes.
Guess what…it is not equal
She has the control,you have to live with it.
That’s right,deal with it,if you mess up,you lose.If she messes up it is no big deal and that is just the way it is.
Here’s a pointer to help you out.
Never ,ever fight and argue in front of your child.Be civil or be quiet.Yeah…SHUT UP!
If you can’t talk at all then arrange to have your child dropped off and picked up at someone’s place who is being neutral.I know,there is no such person,they are always on one side or the other.At least make it a place where you can both be civil to the go-between.If you can’t find any such person the next best is
Parking lot at Dairy Queen {my personal fav.,been there,done that] Or parking lot at the bank {her personal fav.] At the mall ,grocery store ,anywhere public where there is less of a chance of a fight breaking out.
Keep your talking about the child only.Times of pick-ups,drop-offs and duration of visits.If you can’t even be civil about this pass a sheet of paper back and forth…seriously.
I can’t stress this enough…KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT,at least in front of your child.If you fight and argue in front of your child YOU WILL LOSE! Judges hate that.She can ,and probably will ,bait you and try to set you off,she knows what buttons to push,and she also knows she has the control.
The courts, the legal system and society in general is geared towards the mother,not the father so you have to be prepared to feel as if you are fighting against the world,because you are.Even your friends are going to tell you that you are crazy and shake their heads.
It is you against the world and you cannot afford to make stupid mistakes and mouth-off.
And ,oh yeah,did I mention…
SHUT UP
Till next time
Ron