Posts Tagged ‘behaviour management’

A new boy has just joined my class. They only finally come my way when many other people have tried and failed to manage their appalling behaviour. This little boy is on the verge of being permanently excluded from school - he’s confused and his behaviour is out of control in school. So much damage and upset could be avoided if these children came to me earlier. If his behaviour isn’t addressed effectively he will be severely damaged and he won’t grow up as he should.

My sympathies lie with the child, although many people can’t understand why this is… I see them as the innocents in the bad behaviour dilemma. I see unhappy and confused children living an almost entirely negative life. Would you want your life to be like that? I know I wouldn’t want that for myself…

‘Why then do children continue their bad behaviour if it results in such a negative experience of life’, I’m asked. If they feel bad, then they need to make changes…

Oh dear, people just don’t get it! That makes me so annoyed! Although these kids are deeply and desperately unhappy they can’t make changes unless the adults start using behaviour management strategies that makes them change. It really is that simple.

It’s a bit too much to expect little children to change their behaviour when they’ve been allowed, even encouraged, to behave in an unacceptable way for a long time because adults have failed to manage them effectively. These children have probably lost track of how they should be behaving in school.

To grow into confident adolescents and adults children need, and deserve, to learn the proper way to behave by being disciplined in and out of school. Anything less is bordering on neglect. If they don’t learn how their world works they have far less chance of succeeding in life.

The little guy who’s just come to me attends my classes each morning and goes to his mainstream school every afternoon. He’s done ok considering he’s been so out of control in school, but they rang on day 2 to tell me that on his return on the first day he was as ‘bad as ever’… Not surprising really… Only minor changes will be seen in mainstream until they adopt behaviour management techniques that impact positively on his behaviour. Ok, they’ll see some transfer of the more positive behaviour he shows in my classes, but this won’t become his norm in mainstream if their behaviour management strategies stay the same as previously.

If children have been allowed to behave unacceptably this behaviour quickly becomes their norm and they perceive the behaviour is acceptable to adults. They know they’re behaving badly but having started from minor indiscretions - a bit of a laugh, an avoidance strategy, attention seeking - it soon escalates and becomes habitual. It becomes a lose/lose situation with everyone involved becoming highly stressed and at a loss as to what can be done.

The new little boy is bound to start trying to behave in the way he’s been getting away with in his mainstream school… he won’t be able to stop himself. It’s at that point we’ll see how we progress…

I’ll work with the school (and home) so they’ll learn how to manage his behaviour - they won’t find it difficult. They’ll receive the same advice that I give all those people I work with and they’ll soon be confidently using my behaviour management techniques. Believe me, anyone can do it…

Liz Marsden is a highly respected behaviour control expert who uses her expertise to train teachers, trainee teachers and teaching assistants to manage children’s behaviour. Visit Liz’s web site to learn more about her work in her own classroom and mainstream schools. Liz’s highly recommended book, Behaviour Bible will give you all the guidance you need in classroom control.